英文简历中不该出现话

　　致命的大错：

　　“Finished8thinmyhighschoolgraduatingclassof10.”

　　“Qualifications:Noeducationorexperience.”

　　“Iamrelativelyintelligent,obedientandloyalasapuppy.”

　　“Mycompensationshouldbeatleastequaltomyage.”

　　“ReasonforLeaving:IthadtodowiththeIRS,FBIandSEC.”

　　“FiredbecauseIfoughtforlowerpay.”

　　“Sizeofemployer:Verytall,probablyover6'5”

　　“Pleasedisregardtheenclosedresume-itisterriblyoutofdate.”

　　“ReasonforLeaving:Mybosssaidtheendoftheworldisnear.”

　　“ReasonforLeaving:Theownergavenewmeaningtotheword'paranoia.'Iprefertoelaborateprivately.”

　　打字错误与语法错误：

　　“Herearemyqualificationsforyoutooverlook.”

　　“Strengths:Abilitytomeetdeadlineswhilemaintainingcomposer.”

　　“Iamarabidtypist.”

　　“WorkHistory:Performedbrainwavetests,1879-1981.”

　　“Afterreceivingadvicefromseveraldifferentangels,Ihavedecidedtopursueanewlineofwork.”

　　“Accountingcleric.”
　　“Asindicted,Ihaveoverfiveyearsofexperienceanalyzinginvestments.”

　　“Suspectedtograduateearlynextyear.”

　　“Disposedof$2.5billioninassets.”

　　“Provenabilitytotrackdownandcorrecterors.”

　　“Accomplishments:Oversightofentiredepartment.”

　　“Amaperfectionistandrarelyififeverforgetdetails.”

　　“Accomplishments:Completed11yearsofhighschool.”

　　不应有的幽默：

　　“Note:Keepthisresumeontopofthestack.Useallotherstoheatyourhouse.”

　　“Assistedindailypreparationoflargequantitiesofconsumableitemsinafast-pacedsetting.”(Translation:Short-ordercook.)

　　“Butwait...there'smore.Yougetallthisbusinessknowledgeplusagraspofmarketingthatissecondnature.”

　　“Ihaveanexcellenttrackrecord,althoughIamnotahorse.”

　　“Myfortunecookiesaid,'Yournextinterviewwillresultinajob'-andIlikeyourcompanyinparticular.”

　　“Title:Anotherresumefromthe'ProfilesinExcellence'series.”

　　“AlsoKnownAs:Mr.Productivity,Mr.Clever,Mr.Fix-it.”

　　“Trustworthyreferencesavailableuponrequest-ifIgivethemafewbucks.”

　　“Let'smeetsoyoucan'ooh'and'ahh'overmyexperience.”